Post by Pitman on Nov 12, 2013 7:25:33 GMT -6
Adventures of Professor Merlin
Narrated by Himself
"Greeting... everyone... I am Professor Merlin Camelot... you all may remember me making a brief showing in... AUC: After the Scattering and Galactic Civilizations. Your now wondering... why am I showing this to all those Inter-dimensional Beings. Well be frank... no, not my assistant Igor Frank. I grow tired of saving the god damn dimensions from themselves. Seriously everywhere I go I see only crap!!", Merlin soon said in his comfy slippers and bed robe.
"Professor the Tea is ready!!", Igor soon shouted from the background.
"Anyways after my latest escapade I have decided...", Merlin said turning left to right with a smile his short heard nicely trimmed. Clearing his throat he continues, "I have decided to begin a recording of my adventures with my memories!! From the various inter-dimensional traveling I figured I can get billion of Dollars!! Just think FRANCHISE!! Billions will want to see my stories like that of Doctor Who on BBC!!"
"Who the fuck is Doctor Who, Professor?", Igor soon said bringing him his tea.
"Igor I do hope you brought my crumpets too!!", Merlin soon demanded.
"Obviously... I known you for all these years, and know you like crumpets. That or the discovery of one of the chosen of fate, blah blah you go on where some how it messes with the whole time space shit then good. You know god was here the other day, he is still pissed what you did in the last dimension you interfered.", Igor then said.
"Blah Hum Bug!! God can't do shit to me! I am the great inter-dimensional traveler there ever was!! The Women!! The food!! Especially those special people!! I must see it all!!!~", Merlin then complained.
"Professor... god does listen in what you say. Like that one time when you did a poker match with Buddha... it didn't end well. As well who knows, he may come in and you know how he was, he especially interfered during what happened in Crisis!! ", Igor then shouted then turns to the audience then says, "For those who do not remember, please look up Alternate Earth: Crisis 2111, where god did some interference during the Bio-Hazard Attack in the first arc.*cough*"
"Anyways, Igor this MY show not yours!! Why are you talking to the audience your only support cast!!", Merlin shouted.
"Hey hey hey who has always saved your ass from yourself?!", Igor soon asked.
"My Brilliance!!", Merlin replied.
"When you need something done?", Igor asked.
"My Mind!!", Merlin added.
"When you are trapped by a bunch of barbarians?", Igor asked.
"My Diplomacy!!", Merlin soon said confidently.
"Who also kept you alive, when you were poisoned by that alien female who you had sex with?!", Igor also asked.
"My Resilience!!", Merlin then perked.
"Who gives you food?", Igor then asked.
"My Imagination!!", Merlin then added.
"When you, accidentally wiped your memories which, were forced into an old people's home, which you ran out of towelettes, all the time. As well was forced to wipe your bottom!?", Igor then suggested.
"Ass Wipe!!", Merlin soon said, then goes, "Errr wait I thought we promised we would never talk about that again!!"
"Maybe... anyways change the name and we won't!! I got 'more' blackmail too.", Igor soon said.
"You wouldn't!!", Merlin soon replied.
"Yes I would!!", Igor threatened with a large pile of papers.
"HAHAHA!!", Merlin soon shouted soon he got the papers and threw it in the nearby fire.
"Idiot... I spread all extra data pads all over the dimensions... Only I know where they are. I cannot be beaten.", Igor then finished.
"FUCK YOU IGOR AND FUCK YOU GOD FOR ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN!!", Merlin shouted.
*Meanwhile in Heaven*
God was busy playing a video game on a PC, soon saying. "Yes SPREAD MY WORD! GO MY PROPHET!! Continue spreading the truth."
You soon see a Prophet from Civilization V spreading to a nearby city. Suddenly his heaven phone rang which one of the Angel Secretary spoke, "God, Merlin is cursing you again."
"Most likely he finally found out the blackmail eh. Make sure he crashes horribly in his next inter Dimensional escapade.", God then replied.
"Yes My Lord of Lords, it shall be done.", the angel replied.
"Ah haven't done this much ever since I saved those people during Crisis. Now lets continue... the religious spreading muhahahaha!!!", God soon said on his end.
*Back with Merlin*
"Fine then... lets change the title..", Merlin soon said.
Suddenly title changed to... *Drums Rolls*
Adventures of Professor Merlin and Igor
"There it is done.", Merlin soon replied.
"My my it looks glorious professor!! But we don't have time to begin telling our first story!!", Igor asked.
"Well its your fault for talking about the name!", Merlin cried out.
"Well no matter... I guess we end today's episode!!", Igor then suggested.
"Fine... Please be excited for our next episode of Adventures of Professor Merlin and Igor.", Merlin soon said looking at his card.
"Seriously? Please be Excited? What the fuck am I Square Enix?", Merlin soon asked his writer.
Pitman: Go with it.
"Fine... whatever... til next time!!", Merlin soon said with a wave.
This has been a fine episode of Adventures of Merlin and Igor, please join us next Tuesday episode where Merlin loses a bet with god where he had to go to a certain timeline! Til Then!!
Narrated by Himself
"Greeting... everyone... I am Professor Merlin Camelot... you all may remember me making a brief showing in... AUC: After the Scattering and Galactic Civilizations. Your now wondering... why am I showing this to all those Inter-dimensional Beings. Well be frank... no, not my assistant Igor Frank. I grow tired of saving the god damn dimensions from themselves. Seriously everywhere I go I see only crap!!", Merlin soon said in his comfy slippers and bed robe.
"Professor the Tea is ready!!", Igor soon shouted from the background.
"Anyways after my latest escapade I have decided...", Merlin said turning left to right with a smile his short heard nicely trimmed. Clearing his throat he continues, "I have decided to begin a recording of my adventures with my memories!! From the various inter-dimensional traveling I figured I can get billion of Dollars!! Just think FRANCHISE!! Billions will want to see my stories like that of Doctor Who on BBC!!"
"Who the fuck is Doctor Who, Professor?", Igor soon said bringing him his tea.
"Igor I do hope you brought my crumpets too!!", Merlin soon demanded.
"Obviously... I known you for all these years, and know you like crumpets. That or the discovery of one of the chosen of fate, blah blah you go on where some how it messes with the whole time space shit then good. You know god was here the other day, he is still pissed what you did in the last dimension you interfered.", Igor then said.
"Blah Hum Bug!! God can't do shit to me! I am the great inter-dimensional traveler there ever was!! The Women!! The food!! Especially those special people!! I must see it all!!!~", Merlin then complained.
"Professor... god does listen in what you say. Like that one time when you did a poker match with Buddha... it didn't end well. As well who knows, he may come in and you know how he was, he especially interfered during what happened in Crisis!! ", Igor then shouted then turns to the audience then says, "For those who do not remember, please look up Alternate Earth: Crisis 2111, where god did some interference during the Bio-Hazard Attack in the first arc.*cough*"
"Anyways, Igor this MY show not yours!! Why are you talking to the audience your only support cast!!", Merlin shouted.
"Hey hey hey who has always saved your ass from yourself?!", Igor soon asked.
"My Brilliance!!", Merlin replied.
"When you need something done?", Igor asked.
"My Mind!!", Merlin added.
"When you are trapped by a bunch of barbarians?", Igor asked.
"My Diplomacy!!", Merlin soon said confidently.
"Who also kept you alive, when you were poisoned by that alien female who you had sex with?!", Igor also asked.
"My Resilience!!", Merlin then perked.
"Who gives you food?", Igor then asked.
"My Imagination!!", Merlin then added.
"When you, accidentally wiped your memories which, were forced into an old people's home, which you ran out of towelettes, all the time. As well was forced to wipe your bottom!?", Igor then suggested.
"Ass Wipe!!", Merlin soon said, then goes, "Errr wait I thought we promised we would never talk about that again!!"
"Maybe... anyways change the name and we won't!! I got 'more' blackmail too.", Igor soon said.
"You wouldn't!!", Merlin soon replied.
"Yes I would!!", Igor threatened with a large pile of papers.
"HAHAHA!!", Merlin soon shouted soon he got the papers and threw it in the nearby fire.
"Idiot... I spread all extra data pads all over the dimensions... Only I know where they are. I cannot be beaten.", Igor then finished.
"FUCK YOU IGOR AND FUCK YOU GOD FOR ALLOWING THIS TO HAPPEN!!", Merlin shouted.
*Meanwhile in Heaven*
God was busy playing a video game on a PC, soon saying. "Yes SPREAD MY WORD! GO MY PROPHET!! Continue spreading the truth."
You soon see a Prophet from Civilization V spreading to a nearby city. Suddenly his heaven phone rang which one of the Angel Secretary spoke, "God, Merlin is cursing you again."
"Most likely he finally found out the blackmail eh. Make sure he crashes horribly in his next inter Dimensional escapade.", God then replied.
"Yes My Lord of Lords, it shall be done.", the angel replied.
"Ah haven't done this much ever since I saved those people during Crisis. Now lets continue... the religious spreading muhahahaha!!!", God soon said on his end.
*Back with Merlin*
"Fine then... lets change the title..", Merlin soon said.
Suddenly title changed to... *Drums Rolls*
Adventures of Professor Merlin and Igor
"There it is done.", Merlin soon replied.
"My my it looks glorious professor!! But we don't have time to begin telling our first story!!", Igor asked.
"Well its your fault for talking about the name!", Merlin cried out.
"Well no matter... I guess we end today's episode!!", Igor then suggested.
"Fine... Please be excited for our next episode of Adventures of Professor Merlin and Igor.", Merlin soon said looking at his card.
"Seriously? Please be Excited? What the fuck am I Square Enix?", Merlin soon asked his writer.
Pitman: Go with it.
"Fine... whatever... til next time!!", Merlin soon said with a wave.
This has been a fine episode of Adventures of Merlin and Igor, please join us next Tuesday episode where Merlin loses a bet with god where he had to go to a certain timeline! Til Then!!